She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize