and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
