A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
