just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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