is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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