Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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