Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
