oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
