Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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