i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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