Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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