I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
They have beer where we have blood.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
