Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
