I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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