Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
