I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
