Do you still have your period?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
