Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
