You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
