bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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