I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize