Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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