Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize