i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I think my vagina is haunted
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
