It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize