Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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