suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Damn victory sex feels great
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
