I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
She's not a foreskin expert like you
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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