cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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