I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize