You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
