You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
