The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
