We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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