summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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