What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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