Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
