I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
