You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
