the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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