and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
