Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize