that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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