I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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