i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
