I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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