I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
