She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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