i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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