That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
