i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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