I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
