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Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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