I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
