found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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