I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
