It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
