So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
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