i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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