I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
