we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
